Approaching Dishoom, the first thing I notice from the outside is a lady cleaning the windows, and so I instantly raise my expectations that this is going to be a clean, cozy, authentic Indian restaurant, which is going to make me feel right at home. The thrill doesn’t last very long, when a rather dirty hallway, filled with leaves greets me. I then go through the wooden double doors and into the restaurant itself only to find the hostess who seems quite unbothered with my presence. While on the phone, she lifts an eye to see who is approaching. Instead of giving me a smile, she puts on a stone cold, poker face and looks back down to finish her phone call. Thankfully, another hostess then comes to the rescue and this time she is smiling as she hands me to yet another staff member and says: “Would you show these beautiful ladies to their tables?”
As I walk through the restaurant and observe the interior decor, which has a homey atmosphere with sofas as chairs and a large fireplace, the hostess takes me to the furthest possible table, situated in a hidden corner, even though most of the tables are free. When I ask if I could change my table to a more central one, the waiter says he will speak to the host as “their tables are fully booked at the moment.” He never returns with an answer. Instead the waiter, who seems to be in a rush to take my order, asks if I would like still or tap water. I order still water, but that doesn’t stop him from bringing me tap instead. As I drink from the glass my lips come in contact with a weird piece of plastic, which I felt while drinking. Spiting the tiny piece of plastic out, I notice the glass hasn’t been cleaned at all.
My food arrives straight away. At least the short waiting time makes up for what has already been an unpleasant experience. I order the chicken tikka masala with basmati rice, but the portion I receive is smaller in size than my hand. It includes only three or four pieces of chicken dipped in the tikka sauce, which is the only appetising aspect about my entire restaurant experience at Dishoom. The waiter comes to ask if I would like dessert, but the only thing I know I would love is the bill and my coat so that I can find the quickest way out of there.
Sorry Dishoom, but I’m not planning to return anytime soon.
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